Lying

Couple hours ago I read this book and there were lines I would like to record. It is something basic. It slaps me on my face.

"17 LIES. The idea for the book happened almost by accident when a person I was consulting with started telling me some 'Truth' about some deep flaw he had a person ; "I'm not very good at... I've never been good at..." I was very tired that day and had no energy left to give to positive reinforcement, so I just said to him, "You're Lying".

Somehow I felt I am the client and telling all those nonsense. To believe what I want to believe, do what I believe I can do and believe that I can do what I've done before.

In the end of the day, I just rowing my repetitive live. I go to work and do exactly what I've done before. My thoughts are thoughts I have thought before. I just live the same day over and over. The same arguments with the spouse. The same frustrated comments in my journal about my day. The same sarcastic remarks about the boss. Over and over, world withoud end, round and round into the ground.

I need to stop this lying of mine, I want to break out this spinning wheel of groundhog life. Snaps me out of the bad dream, breaks the hypnosis of the lines and say aloud ;

I CAN DO SOMETHING NEW AND SCARY

But later I realized...
I am doing that
I've done that
The New And Scary

I found myself in the lonesome by leaving my family miles away from here. Sacrifying my previous job and family for something new and scary.

Yes, it was exciting at the beginning. At least I could proof to myself while the world as the witness, that I am able to overcome the obstacles while I'm gaining my international exposure. Somehow I am more stronger than I thought.

But... then I feel only restless that left behind with the thought that I might loss something just because do something new and scary. I'm questioning myself whether I am doing the right thing when the curtain almost down, when the play is going to finish.

Will I lie to myself if I said I enjoy my last 12months here ?
Will I lie to myself if I told that I earn more experiences ?
Will I lie to myself if everything is gonna be alright ?
Whatever the answer of my questions, I am just so afraid to reveal the real feeling of mine.

So... I just look back on my life and see what I have been through and what I have accomplished...


book by Steve Chandler (The Story Of You)
picture by pyxle.com